I Peter
3:7
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with
understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being
heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be
hindered.
Peter gave 6 verses of recommendations to wives and here
gives his single verse of counsel to husbands.
He begins by admonishing husbands to live with their wives “with
understanding.” It is often made a
matter of humor that men don’t understand women, but the humor ends with I Peter
3:7. Men are here given the clear
admonition to understand the needs, emotions, values, challenges, desires, and
dreams of the wife God has given them.
If we admit that we do not understand any of these matters of our wife we
are compelled here to fix that. We are
called to be men, not boys or beasts – and living without understanding our wife
is unmanly. Psalm 32:9 says, “Do not be
like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be
harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near you.” Similarly, Psalm 49:20 says, “A man who is in
honor, yet does not understand, is like the beasts that perish.” Let us then stand like men and increase our
understanding of our wives. It is not
just for the sake of our wife’s happiness that we seek understanding, it is for
ours as well. Proverbs 3:13 says, “Happy
is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.” And Proverbs 2:11 promises, “Discretion will
watch over you, understanding will guard you (ESV).”
After being compelled to understand our wife, we are
next told to give her honor, “as to the weaker vessel.” In general, women do not have the physical
strength of the husband. Since that is
so, men ought to respect, even marvel with appreciation all that women
accomplish in their day. Women who meet
the needs of the family and community are doubly worthy of receiving honor from
their husbands. Husbands are not called
here to honor their wives despite their weaker frame, but because of their weaker nature. When a woman’s work load equals or exceeds
her husbands, though she has less physical strength than he does, she is worthy
of honor. Romans 13:7 calls on us to
give honor to whom honor is due, and Peter reminds us here that this certainly
includes our wife. Perhaps there are
many ways to honor our wife, but Proverbs 31:28 mentions that a virtuous wife is
praised by her husband. Let us seek
opportunity at home to privately praise our wife for her godly attributes, as
well as seek appropriate opportunity to compliment her in
public.
After giving us this counsel to understand and honor our
wife, Peter then gives us just cause for doing so. He says first of all that we should honor and
understand our wife because we are “heirs together of the grace of life.” That is, our blessings from God, the grace
that we receive from Him is bound up together in a single package. A husband cannot hope to be richly blessed by
God yet have his wife sadly miss out on the blessings. When God blesses, He blesses the husband and
wife together. If we allow problems to
creep into our marriage relationship, we will find problems creeping into our
relationship with God. We must see here
that we are “heirs together.” In many
ways, what God gives the husband, He gives to the wife just the same. He
spells it out even more clearly in the next line, “that your prayers may not be
hindered.” Peter is saying, if you take
care of your wife’s needs, God will take care of yours. If you are the answer to your wife’s prayers,
God will be the answer to yours. If we
fail our wife, however, we will find that our prayers fail with God – a
frightening prospect. Since the
blessings that we receive from God are caught up inseparably from the blessings
our wife receives from God, and since our prayers to God are hindered when our
relationship with our wife is weakened, let us make all effort to make our
marriage relationship a vital priority.
